Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda, But Didn’t: Stop Living with Regret and Start Taking Action

We’ve all been there—thinking about the chances we didn’t take, the opportunities we missed, or the actions we should have followed through on. It’s easy to get stuck in the “shoulda, woulda, coulda” mindset, replaying scenarios in your head and wondering what could have been. But here’s the hard truth: all the “shoulda, woulda, coulda’s” in the world won’t change the fact that you didn’t act when you had the chance. In today’s episode of Crushing the Day, we’re diving into how you can break free from this mindset, stop dwelling on missed opportunities, and start taking action to create the future you want. Ready to stop living in regret and start moving forward? Let’s get into it.

Key Takeaways

• Regret comes from inaction, not failure: It’s the chances you didn’t take that haunt you, not the ones you tried and failed at.

• Excuses keep you stuck: "Shoulda, woulda, coulda" is just another way of making excuses for why you didn’t act.

• The power is in the present: You can’t change the past, but you can control what you do right now.

• Action cures regret: The best way to avoid future regret is by taking action today, even if it’s imperfect.

Regret Comes from Inaction, Not Failure

It’s not the mistakes you’ve made or the times you’ve failed that cause the most regret—it’s the times you didn’t try at all. The opportunities you let slip by because of fear, doubt, or hesitation are the ones that stay with you. You can live with failure because at least you gave it a shot, but inaction? That sticks with you.

Example: Think about a time when you were presented with a great opportunity—whether it was a business venture, a relationship, or a personal challenge—and you didn’t take it. Why didn’t you act? Chances are, it wasn’t because you couldn’t, but because you hesitated. Maybe you were afraid of failing, or maybe you doubted yourself. Whatever the reason, the regret that lingers isn’t about the chance you took and failed—it’s about the chance you didn’t take at all.

If you want to avoid regret, start taking action, even if it’s imperfect. You can always learn from failure, but you can’t do anything with inaction.

Excuses Keep You Stuck

"Shoulda, woulda, coulda" is just another way of making excuses. When you find yourself thinking about what you should have done, what you could have accomplished, or what you would have tried if only things were different, you’re letting excuses keep you stuck. The truth is, you didn’t act, and now you’re stuck thinking about what might have been instead of focusing on what can still be.

Example: Have you ever found yourself thinking, I should have taken that job or I could have invested in that opportunity? It’s easy to look back and make excuses for why you didn’t act—maybe the timing wasn’t right, or you didn’t have enough information. But those are just excuses. The reality is, you didn’t take action, and now you’re left with regret. The only way to avoid repeating the same pattern is to stop making excuses and start making moves.

Pro Tip: Next time you catch yourself making excuses or dwelling on the past, flip the script. Ask yourself, What can I do today to create the future I want? It’s all about taking control of the present moment.

The Power Is in the Present

Here’s something powerful to remember: you can’t change the past, but you have full control over what you do right now. The present is where your power lies. Instead of focusing on what you didn’t do yesterday, start focusing on what you can do today. The actions you take now will shape your future, so why waste time looking backward?

Example: Imagine someone who regrets not starting a business or pursuing a passion years ago. They’ve spent years replaying that decision in their head, wondering what might have been. But here’s the truth: they still have the power to act today. It might not be the same opportunity they missed, but there’s always a new door waiting to be opened if they stop looking back and start moving forward.

Pro Tip: Set a small, actionable goal for today that moves you closer to something you’ve been hesitating on. Even a small step forward can create momentum and help you break free from the past.

Action Cures Regret

The best way to prevent future regret is by taking action right now. Even if it’s messy, even if it’s not perfect, taking action is always better than staying stuck in the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" loop. When you take action, you give yourself the chance to grow, to learn, and to create something meaningful. You might fail, and that’s okay. Failure teaches you lessons that inaction never will.

Example: Think about a decision you’ve been putting off—whether it’s making a career change, starting a new project, or having a difficult conversation. The longer you wait, the more you’ll regret not acting. But if you take that first step today, even if it’s just a small one, you’ll immediately feel a sense of relief. You’ll know that you’re moving forward, and that’s what counts.

Pro Tip: Break your goal down into small, manageable steps. The thought of tackling a big challenge can be overwhelming, but if you focus on just the next step, it becomes more doable. Remember, action—even small action—moves you out of regret and into progress.

What’s Next?

It’s time to let go of the "shoulda, woulda, coulda" mindset and start taking action. The past is out of your control, but the present is where your power lies. Don’t let missed opportunities hold you back—start focusing on what you can do right now to create the future you want. The only way to avoid regret tomorrow is by taking action today. So, what’s your next move?

For more strategies on taking action, avoiding regret, and building the life you want, check out my top resources, including books and coaching programs designed to help you crush the day. Together, we’ll stop making excuses, start taking control, and keep moving forward—one action at a time.